I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
