I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just had sex bonerless
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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