babies were throwing up all over the place
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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