If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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