I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
