i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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