More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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