Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
