Need sex. Gaining weight.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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