I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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