My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
