just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
