You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
