I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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