In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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