Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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