Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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