Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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