It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Farmville is her only friend.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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