She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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