It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
