The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
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That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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