i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
His nipple licking is glorious
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