This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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