The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
