It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
