Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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