That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize