Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
