you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
