Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
