butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
