why didn't you poke me back
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
