Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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