I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
