Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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