Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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