why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
