I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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