lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
