Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
