Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
