the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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