She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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