So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
