I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
