Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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