nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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