I wanna bring you to show and tell
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
