I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
