who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
