Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
