I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i think i have two assholes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize