I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
