Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
only if we run a train.
done.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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