I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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