After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
