so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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