You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
