I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
